May 2011
7 posts
clarification.
let me make something clear…
i do not put myself to sleep every night crying because i lost my boyfriend. obviously, in some respects i do. i cry because i lost myself. i cry because it was my fault. i cry because i wasnt good enough. i cry because i lost him. i cry because i am left here crying, and he could care less. i cry because i cant talk to him. i cry because i miss walking with...
bestfriend.
i had an interesting night last night. i had no idea how gone the feelings for him. together, theyre strong, but when i part from him,there is no interest. no wanting. no needing like i feel. maybe i even fabricate the feeling we have when were together. maybe i just tell myself im more important than i am. i have truly lost him. i have truly lost myself. i have messed up. past the point of...
burning.
hahah wow. talk about a punch in the gut. my insides are burning. my fingers are tingling. i cant sit still. my eyes feel like theyre crossing. im biting my lip. im picking my nails polish. i cant sit still. im completely torn apart. im numb, yet in so much pain. how can something so little hurt me so much? how can such an insignificant thing bother me to the point of this? how can such a little...
today.
talked to an old friend today. i guess i wouldnt really say he was a friend-more like an acquaintance. it was nice. i miss the old things i used to do. i miss feeling like i belong somewhere. i miss feeling like i had my feet flat on the floor. i miss the feeling of a solid support system. i miss my family being together. i miss all the people who were there for me during the hardest times of my...